Letting Go
by LaraWinner
Summary: Wufei has a choice to make. Please R&R *_*


DISCLAIMER: I don't own gundam wing or any of its characters. I don't even own my car so don't sue me*_*

Letting Go

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BY: Lara_Winner

She had to be strong. She had taken her stand because he had gone to far this time. Sally looked at Wufei's angry face forcing herself to hold back her tears. If she cried that would only show him he had won and she wasn't about to let him get any satisfaction from her vulnerability. 

"Just what in the hell are you trying to do to me? Do you enjoy playing mind games? Or maybe you're just trying to boost your ego?" she taunted. Her insult hit its mark and she resisted the urge to flinch from the rage that flared in his opaque eyes. 

"You don't understand, woman." He gritted out between clenched teeth. 

"I think I understand just fine. I'm the one person who can see through you and I'm not afraid to tell you what I think and that kills you, doesn't it?" 

"Sally…." He snarled.

She knew when to stop and Wufei had reached his limit. But she had reached hers too. This was the last time he insulted her. This was the last time he pushed her away and made her feel useless. And this was the last time she let him make her feel inadequate. Even though she loved him she knew this was a no win situation and she was through getting hurt. Especially when she knew he was pushing her away on purpose.

"If I'm wrong then tell me why you're doing this to me?" She whispered. 

"You're acting childish. I'm not doing anything woman. Leave it to you to overreact about everything." He said arrogantly. 

"I thought we were past this male supremacy bullshit of yours. You're acting defensive because you know I'm right and that I'm not overreacting. But why the hell shouldn't I overreact when my, so called, boyfriend, can't even kiss me. You know, I'm really trying to figure out just what exactly we have between us, because it sure as hell isn't a relationship!"

"You want me to kiss you, is that what all this is about? I have to admit I expected better of you, Sally." He sneered. 

"Asshole!" she hissed. "This is about more than just a kiss, this about you not knowing what you want. One minute your sweet, caring and considerate and then the next you treat me as if I'm your worst enemy. I'm sick of trying to figure you out and always feeling like everything is my fault. I don't know what else to do, Wufei. I've tried, I really have, and I can't take anymore. I have to let go." She looked away, her heart twisting at the surprise that had flashed across his familiar features. 

"Your ending it, then." He said quietly. It wasn't a question; he was just stating fact. She shrugged, trying not to show how close she was to breaking down.

"The least you could do is look me in the eye." He said, his voice oddly hoarse. 

Her hands clenched into fists at her sides. How typical, demanding her respect and yet when had he ever given her any in return. Steeling herself she turned to face him meeting his gaze directly.

"I need some time, Wufei, and I think you do too. Neither of us are happy and it's only going to get worse." she said, searching his expression for some hint of what he was feeling, but finding nothing. 

"Since you have this all planned out then maybe you should just leave." He said coldly.

If he would have shot her it would have hurt less, but at least she knew where they stood. He didn't care enough and she cared too much. Managing to salvage what little pride she had left she turned and wordlessly walked out the apartment slamming the door behind her. 

Wufei stood completely still as the sound of the door slamming echoed throughout the small living room. His mind was still trying to process what had just transpired in the last twenty minutes. He lost his girlfriend; that's what. No, she chose to leave because she didn't understand that in his own way he was trying his hardest too. She left him because he didn't kiss her enough. Well to hell with her and her stupid tantrums.

"Damn it!" he cursed, kicking a chair that was the closest thing within reach. After a moment all the anger drained out of him and he felt defeated. He wanted to be angry but that wouldn't help because he knew she was partly right, and that was the problem. They weren't happy because he didn't know how to give her what she wanted. Not that she demanded a lot but he wasn't sure he could give her what she needed. Sally was so comfortable expressing herself and so confident in her ideals that sometimes he envied her. That was her true strength, the ability to keep the balance between emotion and common sense. A balance he still hadn't found for himself. 

He began to pace around the confined room his thoughts running in circles. For as long as he could remember he kept himself at a distance from those around him. His relationship with his parents had been very formal. He respected them and honored them and that was what they had expected of him. That was the only way of existence he had known. He wasn't making excuses but he had never really had the opportunity to learn communication skills. So his personality was formed and he hid his real feelings behind a mask of arrogance. It was easier to keep others at a distance than to try to make the effort to open up and let them in. 

He sighed in frustration. Being angry certainly didn't help. His temper was another matter all together. He winced as he recalled all the things they had said. But Sally's temper was only slightly better than his was; they both had extremely short fusses. They always seemed to be arguing over something. She was right, the last two years weren't happy. But regardless of everything, he did love her. And he hadn't thought she would actually leave. He hadn't even realized he took for granted the fact that she was always the one to apologize, or be the first to admit she was wrong. She had tried, but that didn't mean that he hadn't. She was the last person he wanted to hurt, but he did anyway.

But the one main reason he tried to keep her at a distance was the one reason he dreaded admitting. He felt guilty for loving her. He felt guilty because he promised Meiran that he would never forget her and with Sally he was able, even if just for the moment, to forget the past. He was able to forget the guilt and he was able to open up and be himself. Something he hadn't been able to do since Meiran's death. He felt he was betraying Meiran's memory by letting Sally to close and yet he didn't keep Meiran's memory out of love but out of guilt. It was a vicious cycle and now it had finaly been broken. Sally had asked him why he pushed her away and he couldn't answer because the reason sounded crazy even to himself. 

The rest of his faults he could have tried to improve upon but the promise was a promise and he couldn't break it. He had already broken one promise to Meiran and it had cost her life, he couldn't be selfish and break another. He owed her that much. But none of that mattered now, Sally had made her choice and he couldn't blame her, he just wished she could have understood that he really did care, no matter how much of an asshole he could be. 

"There's nothing like the earth's real weather." Sighed Relena, her voice filled with pleasure.

Sally looked at the girl walking next to her and smiled, nodding her head in agreement. She had accompanied Relena for a two weeks of various meetings in the colonies. The chance to get away had been good for Sally but she had to agree, the colonies were no substitute for the earth. She was glad to feel real sunshine on her face and not the rays of some high-powered heat lamp. 

"I'm amazed!" said Hilde, her voice carrying the awe etched upon her face.

"I'm glad you guys were able to come back with us." Sally said. 

"Duo had promised to take me here one-day but you know Duo, why do today what you can do next year." Hilde replied.

"Hey, I resent that, Hilde. If your gonna quote me then get it right. Its not next year, its next week." Duo said as he came up behind Hilde and put his arms round her waist. 

'Well your weeks seem to turn into years pretty quick." Hilde giggled. 

Sally swallowed the lump that rose in her throat as she watched the couple beside her. Two weeks and it hadn't done a thing to ease her mind or her heart. She was going have to see Wufei sooner or later and she was dreading it. He would play it cool; she wasn't worried about that. She just didn't know how she was going to work with him and keep it from taking its toll on her physically and mentally. However, she refused to be a coward, she would do what she had to do. 

"Sally!"

She jumped as she realized Relena had been asking her a question and had called her name several times. Her cheeks turned a pale shade of pink from embarrassment and she smiled apologetically at Relena. 

"I was just asking if you were attending the Charity Fund-raiser Ball tonight?" asked Relena.

"What Fund-raiser?" asked Sally, completely confused.

"Now I know you haven't been listening to a word I said all week." Relena chuckled. "The Winner Corporation is sponsoring a charity event to raise money for the restoration of the colonies orphanages. It's being held tonight at Ridgefield Manor. Duo and Hilde are going and I assumed you were too. Anyway, are you going to go?"

"I don't know. I mean I don't have a dress to wear and its already 2:00 and I'm really…."

"You're going." Relena said, cutting Sally off mid sentence. "Noin and Miliardo will be there with Zack and I know you didn't get to see them the last time they visited. Trust me, It'll be fun." 

Sally ran over her choices, either go to the party or sit in her lonely apartment and think about…... There wasn't a choice. 

Wufei stood to the side and silently observed the crowd of people moving in rhythm to the music on the spacious dance floor. He was ready to leave and he'd only just arrived. He didn't even know why he'd agreed to come. This was the last time he let Quatre talk him in to something he didn't want to do. 

Shifting restlessly he pulled at the stiff collar of his tuxedo. This was the last time he wore one of these things too. He didn't understand the importance of appearances to society. Why do intelligent people parade themselves about wearing the most ridiculous clothes and then entertain the most pathetic excuse for mind stimulating conversations he'd ever heard. In his opinion this was all just a waste of time. But then it wasn't like he'd had other plans for tonight, although going home and being alone was starting to sound really good right now.

He resisted the urge to groan as he spotted Duo making his way towards him. He really wasn't in the mood to put up with Maxwell's mindless chatter at the moment. 

"Wufei! Hey my man. How ya been? It's been a while." The braided boy said as he reached his side.

"Hello Maxwell." He replied dispassionately. 

"So, what ya been up to?" Duo asked.

"I've been busy with the Preventers." Said Wufei. He had learned a long time ago that the more you tried to ignore the idiot the longer he'd stay and bother you.

"Hey, I know what you mean. Things are like hell right now on L2. And then with Hilde being pregnant and everything I've been so stressed out it isn't funny." Replied Duo.

"What! Hilde's pregnant?" Wufei couldn't hide his surprise and dismay. The last thing the world needed was for Duo to breed. 

"Close your mouth and smile. It really is good news. We just found out three weeks ago. I am so happy, I'm gonna be a daddy!" said Duo who was grinning idiotically. 

"Your only 23 Maxwell. Are you sure your ready to be a father? It is a lot of responsibility and lets face it, I wouldn't exactly call you responsible." He said seriously.

"Give me a little credit Wu-man. I think I'll make an excellent father." Duo started to say more but he then saw that Hilde was trying to get his attention and mumbling an apology to Wufei he headed off toward his girlfriend.

Well that was certainly the surprise of his night. He had to admit he'd never seen Duo so happy before. But he couldn't help question if Duo would make a good father. Considering he still has his girlfriend who am I to question his abilities, he thought. 

Scanning his gaze over the crowd, his eyes widened as they landed on the last person he thought to see here. Sally. She wasn't facing him but he could see her profile clearly. In all the years they had known each other and the two they had officially dated he had to admit he'd never seen her look as beautiful as she did tonight. The red dress and the way her hair fell in soft curls, all he could think was, wow!

However, he was surprised. She had a similar opinion to his and usually avoided social events if she could help it. And working for the Preventers they really didn't have time for parties. And he had thought she was still in the colonies with Relana. Of course she would have no reason to tell him she had returned, it was no longer any of his concern. 

Seeing her across the room made him realize how much he missed her. He knew it would be hard the first time he saw her but he hadn't thought it would be tonight, and if he had known he wouldn't have come. When he'd become such a coward he didn't know. Damn it! It was hard to watch her laughing with Noin obviously happy when he felt like hell, inside and out. 

Just then the music started up and as he watched a fellow officer approached Sally asking her to dance. He saw her smile sweetly and except the man's offered arm. His first impulse was to storm over there and beat the man senseless for daring to touch her. But he checked himself when he realized that he was jealous. He was amazed at how disgusting he was acting. Jealousy is a weak and humiliating emotion and he had thought he was above ever being effected by it, well, he was wrong. He was jealous and if that man's hand slipped down her back any lower he was going to kill him. After a moment he turned and headed toward the doors that opened to the gardens. He needed some fresh air and a moment to cool off because right now he was seeing red. 

Stepping out onto the verandah he took a deep breath and tried to steady his raging emotions. He walked over to a stone bench that was hidden in the shadows and sat down letting his head fall into his hands. It had come down to one thing. Did he love Sally enough to put aside his pride and let go of the past once and for all? 

He had a choice to make.

Sally kept her mind focused on the movement of her feet. She tried to keep her voice pleasant and her smile charming but she was starting to regret accepting the invitation to dance. She looked at her partner and sighed inwardly. There was only one person she wanted to dance with and he wasn't here. 

To her relief the music ended and she excused herself politely. She noticed the door leading to the gardens and she decided a moment of quiet was what she needed. Making her way outside she relaxed as she let the feel of the cool evening breeze calm her nerves. She felt out of place here and even worse she was tired of forcing a smile for everyone else's benefit. Noin knew something was wrong but she never asked what the problem was and Sally was glad because she wasn't so sure she could talk about it yet. Over the last two weeks she had time to think and she wished she hadn't been so rash in her decision. She was angry and like Wufei she had a tendency to say things she really didn't mean. She hadn't wanted to break up with him; she just wanted to get her point across. 

She barely noticed the soft strings of music that gently drifted out in the night air. She was so far away in her thoughts she didn't see the shadow that rose from his seat and slowly walked toward her. 

"May I have this dance?" a soft voice asked.

At the sound of Wufei's voice she went completely still. They didn't tell me he would be here, she thought frantically. She turned to look at him just as he griped her wrist and pulled her towards him. 

"I don't remember saying yes." She whispered.

"I was hoping you wouldn't say no." he replied.

When she opened her mouth to speak again he pressed a finger against her lips to silence her. He shook his head and she understood. Relaxing against him she rested her head on his shoulder and let herself get lost in the haunting melody of the music that surrounded them. 

As she felt the steady beat of his heart a soft smile touched her lips. She felt so complete with his strong arms wrapped around her. She sighed in contentment and felt his arms tighten around her in response. If only they could be like this more often maybe they could make it work, she thought. Maybe there was still hope for them after all. 

As the last notes of music faded she leaned back in his arms and looked up into his eyes. He didn't avoid her questioning gaze but instead smiled slightly, which only confused her more. Then slowly he leaned his head closer and pressed his lips to hers in a brief kiss.

"I don't want to loose you." He whispered as he pulled back and looked into her tear filled eyes. 

"I was overreacting. I don't want us to be over but I need you to meet me halfway, please understand." She pleaded softly.

"I do understand and I'm trying Sally." He said. 

He leaned down and kissed her one more time and then turned and walked away. She watched him leave and wondered just what the hell that was all about. 

Needing to be alone Wufei left the party and went to his favorite spot. He walked along the familiar jagged rocks watching the tide crash against the huge stones. Taking a seat on his usual rock, he tried to find the best way to start what he was about to do. His eyes followed the trail that the moonlight made along the black water. The time had come and he took a deep breath and said the first thing that came to his mind. 

"Can you blame me for wanting to be happy?" the whisper was carried away on the wind. He didn't get an answer but then he hadn't expected one. Sighing, he continued.

"I love her, Meiran. I know that I promised that I would never forget you, and I won't, but I can't live in the past anymore. It's been eight years and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about you and why you died. But I don't know what else to do, I can't give you your life back and I can't carry anymore guilt. With your guidance I achieved your justice. I fought in your name and I was willing to die for your beliefs but now the war is over and I need to move on. She needs me to move on."

He closed his eyes tight letting the memories run through his mind. Meiran would always have a place in his heart but that was the past. Now was the time for the future. He knew he wasn't doing this so much for her, she could care less wherever she was, he was doing this for himself. So he could finally get the closure that he had purposely avoided till now. He had lived for her long enough, and he had kept his promise. It was time to let the past go.

"Forgive me, Nataku." 

Standing up he took one last look at the moon's brilliant white trail on the water and turned away. He pushed the sad memories from his mind and he smiled as he realized that for the first time he didn't feel guilty. 

Sally stared blankly at the computer screen in front of her. She couldn't get herself to concentrate. Her mind kept replaying Wufei's actions from earlier that evening. She knew he could be considerate and even romantic when he wanted to be but he rarely ever showed that side of himself to her. Tonight had taken her completely by surprise. Either he had meant what he said and was going to try or he was testing her and staking his claim. But neither reason explained why he'd up and walked away.

Her thoughts coming to another dead end, she dropped her head on her crossed arms and sighed. She was tired of thinking and this report wasn't going to get finished tonight so shutting down the computer she headed to her bedroom. Sleep was starting to sound really good. 

She had just climbed in the bed when there was a pounding on her front door. Cursing, she made her way to the door and jerking it open found herself face to face with Wufei. 

"Can I come in?" he asked.

"Of course." she replied, stepping aside and allowing him to enter.

Sitting across from him, her thoughts were a confused jumble flying around in her head. She didn't know what he was trying to do. When he didn't say anything she decided to be the first to speak. Bracing herself she set out to get some answers. 

"Where exactly are we heading?" she asked bluntly. 

"That's your decision." He answered calmly. 

"No, this is our decision. We're in this together. I need to know how you feel." She said. 

"I love you. If you don't believe me I can hardly blame you, but I told you Sally, I don't want to loose you." He said quietly. She was stunned at the depth of emotion she saw in his eyes.

"I don't want to loose you either but I feel like I am. If I've done something then tell me. I don't want to pressure you but I don't know what you want from me either." She whispered. He surprised her by coming over and kneeling in front of her. Gently he lifted her chin forcing her to meet his gaze. She couldn't stop the rush of tears that came to her eyes. 

"Don't you dare cry. This wasn't your fault. I'm the one who had things to figure out. Besides, you were right, I'm an asshole." He smiled ruefully. She knew he wasn't patronizing her, he was just being honest. And she knew how much this honesty cost him. He was proud and he was putting aside his pride for her. 

"But I love you anyway." She said.

Pulling him closer she didn't give him a chance to reply. She had him right where she wanted him and she wasn't wasting the moment. Kissing him soundly she realized for the first time there were no restraints between them. They still had a chance, and she couldn't be happier.

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A.N.- I have no idea where this story came from but I just felt the need to write it. It's mushy and it's sappy and I was really OOC with Wufei. Sorry guys, I did my best. For everyone who's reviewed my stories thank you. It means a lot to me to know what you guys think about what I write. I hope you like this but if you don't feel free to tell me. I'm a big girl I can take it, Thanks a bunch everyone. I love you guys!!!*_*


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